I love arrival time in the morning. It's noisy and happy with kids coming into school.
One morning, I watched one of my favorite students heading in, sweatshirt on backwards AND wrong side out - the white, silky tag waving at her throat like a charm necklace.
She lit up when she saw me. “They’re FINALLY going to let me read book five!” she burst out, bending over to unzip her backpack.
She dug around to show it to me, but the book wasn’t there. Frustrated, she straightened and grumbled, “I guess I forgot it at home.”
Trying to shake off her disappointment, she moved on to her class. I really felt for her: Reading was her lifeline, and it was going to be a tough day without her book.
This brilliant, creative, funny student was so forgetful and disorganized, and she didn't seem to be improving. These little frustrations just kept happening.
Executive Function: NOT Just a Fancy Term
Imagine that the kids in a class are like runners on a track. Most kids have a relatively smooth path, with a few bumps and curves. But some kids have to face hurdle after hurdle. They leap over them, again and again, while trying to keep up with the others.
Sometimes, they fall behind. They can get worn out or discouraged. Or just stop trying. They’re already working twice as hard, and it might not even show.
It’s up to us to notice this and offer some help.
Executive function skills are processes in the brain that help people plan, prioritize, manage time, stay organized, and regulate their emotions.
Executive function coaching is when you work with a trained person who helps develop these important skills.
Is It Just a Phase? How to Tell If You Need Executive Function Help
It’s sometimes not easy to tell whether your child is struggling with executive function or just going through a normal part of growing up.
If the things below keep causing a problem, or if they don’t seem to be getting better, it might be useful to get some help.
Your child might have:
a hard time managing time and/or getting things done on time.
poor organization skills, such as constantly losing things or having a messy backpack.
lack of focus or be easily distracted, especially during homework or study sessions.
difficulty following instructions or understanding multi-step directions.
impulsive behavior and difficulty controlling emotions that leads to conflicts with other kids and adults.
a hard time getting started (procrastination) or doesn’t want to do challenging things (avoidance).
In their annual State of Neurodiversity report, Learnfully surveyed hundreds of educators and parents about the learners in their lives. They discovered that there is a growing need for the help that comes from executive function coaching.
If you regularly notice these signs in your child, it might be time to think about executive function coaching as a supportive intervention.
What does an Executive Function Coach Do?
An executive function coach will start by talking to caregivers. They’ll ask questions about experiences and any data you might have, such as report cards, progress reports, or school assessments.
After assessing the child's current executive function skills, the coach will identify areas of improvement and create a personalized coaching plan. The plan is discussed and agreed upon with caregivers before work with the child begins.
The coach works closely with the child, providing guidance, support, and accountability. They teach the child how to break down tasks, set realistic goals, prioritize activities, and manage their time effectively.
Through regular sessions, the coach helps the child develop strategies that work best for their individual needs and learning style.
Executive Function Coaching Supports Your Child at School
The biggest impact you’ll see is on academics. Executive function coaching helps kids become more organized, more focused, and more efficient. Over time, it also helps them feel better about themselves, which impacts their behavior and their social relationships.
Here are some things your child might work on:
Executive function coaches can help with the skills above and many others as well.
Coaches can engage your child and help them build skills in interesting and sometimes really fun ways. For example, playing games can strengthen a child's working memory.
There are also things you can do at home to make the coach’s work extra effective.
Double Your Money’s Worth: Home Strategies that Support Executive Function Skills
The American Psychological Association found in a recent study that when caregivers from home supported the work happening at school, students made progress more quickly, academically AND in their social and emotional skills.
Your coach will suggest strategies to use at home and that can help a lot. Here are some things they might ask you to try:
Stick to routines: Routines provide structure and help children develop good habits. Create a daily routine that includes study time, breaks, and time for other activities. Keeping it the same, as much as possible, is important.
Use color and pictures: calendars, checklists, colorful reminders, and notes are all great tools to help kids stay organized and remember important things. Put them in places they'll see and watch your child take pride in remembering their own tasks.
Break tasks into manageable steps: Make a list of the steps when you want your child to do something. As they work with the coach and get used to thinking about things in steps, they will learn to make their own lists, too.
Be clear and specific when you give instructions.
Encourage self-reflection: Discuss their progress and celebrate their successes, no matter how small.
The Bottom Line: Executive Function Skills Can Be Learned
You’re probably wondering how things worked out for my disorganized and distracted friend from the beginning of this post.
We started checking in each morning during her homeroom time. Her parents took her to the store for a planner for note taking. She liked writing ideas and plans in a shiny new composition notebook that had unicorns on the cover.
My student liked to make checklists, and she worked hard to build habits to use them. When she remembered to check her lists and cross things off, she felt powerful and in charge.
Over time, her organization skills improved, which made her feel better about school. Her frustration went down, and she was a lot less upset when she made a mistake.
She started to use words that showed she was in charge, too: “This is how I do it. This is what works for me."
This student was only 8 years old. It would have been easier, and more common, for her parents to step in with reminders, or just do things for her, to make sure she succeeded. But by letting her work it out on her own, with the support of a coach, they put HER in charge of her learning.
Kids learn so much better when they do it themselves, and by learning these skills at an early age, they are set up for better success in middle school.
If you're interested in executive function coaching, let's connect! Conversations about how your child is doing, and how I might help, are free of charge.
When you're ready, here's how I can help you:
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If you want the relief and peace you get from an executive function coach, here's some info.
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