Kids don't always learn by watching—they need us to show them how.
Try these easy ways to narrate your process, model smart habits, and help your child build executive function skills that last a lifetime.
Working with kids sparks so many ideas for me, and writing articles helps me think them through.
But, turning those ideas into finished, shareable resources? That part doesn't happen as often as I'd like. And I know I'm not alone.
Maybe you're also trying to get faster or more efficient at some things.
Efficiency is a tricky skill to learn—especially for kids. Our daily lives make this skill practically invisible to them.
How many times have you said to a child, "Hold on, let me finish this, and I'll be right there"? Maybe a million?
Kids see our finished work all the time: folded laundry, a packed lunch, or a published article (insert what you do here). - but they don’t see the process behind it.
On social media, we're even kind of impressed by those parents who seem to magically "do it all." But -
How are kids supposed to learn efficiency if they never see us working through it?
Adults: We're Talking Less To Our Kids as They Grow Up
When children are small, we narrate everything:
“Now we’re putting on your shoes. First this foot, then that one. Okay, let’s do the velcro straps...”
This kind of talking supports language development, comprehension, and problem-solving.
But something changes when kids hit grade school. We start to think they have “outgrown” the need for verbal guidance, and we shift our focus to encouraging independence or speed.
Suddenly, we're messaging to them: "You can do it! You're a big kid!"
Busy schedules, academic pressures, screen time all contribute to less talking.
Our kids are hearing less language from us than ever before.
According to the Journal of the American Medical Association (JAMA), children hear fewer adult words, speak fewer vocalizations, and engage in fewer interactions for every minute spent on screens.
At the same time, research shows that talking to kids about things we're doing is still very good for them.
Being involved in parent activities strengthens cognitive skills, fosters creativity, and improves emotional regulation - even beyond the preschool years.
Should We Teach the Skill of Efficiency to Kids?
YES.
Efficiency is a survival skill. We don't explicitly teach it, but we should.
As adults, we internalize strategies over time. We also find shortcuts, create systems, and get better with practice.
But kids? They’re still figuring it out. Sometimes, we even teach them that being "fast" means being careless, and we tell them to slow down.
No wonder they struggle with it!
To teach efficiency intentionally, we need to make invisible processes visible. We need to name the steps, model the processes, and create spaces for kids to practice.
Efficiency isn’t just about doing chores quickly. It's about thinking through processes, improving focus, and adapting to different tasks.
What Does Research Say about Narration and Building Executive Function?
Narration, even beyond early childhood, builds essential skills.
Studies published in the Journal of Child Language show that parent-child interactions—like those during storybook reading or task explanations—improve cognitive development and language comprehension over time.
Another study highlighted in Narrating Childhood with Children and Young People highlights the importance of storytelling and process explanation in fostering problem-solving and critical thinking skills at any age.
By continuing to model and narrate our actions, adults give children tools to complete tasks and understand how and why we do them.
5 Steps for Teaching Process and Efficiency Skills to Your Kids
Narrate Your Process:
Describe what you’re doing as you work. Break it down step by step so kids can see the "why":
Narrating while you cook dinner: “I’m chopping all the vegetables first so I only have to wash the knife once.”
Talking through email replies: “I’m scanning for the ones marked urgent because they need my attention first."
Explaining laundry: “I’m sorting by color so nothing gets ruined, then I’ll set the timer so I don’t forget it’s running.”
Highlight Tools and Shortcuts
Point out the tools or methods you use to save time and energy. These might be physical tools, digital ones, or mental strategies, like:
Grouping all your errands into one trip.
Using a shared family calendar app to avoid conflicts.
Checking off items on a packing list: “See, I check each item as I add it to the bag so I don’t miss anything.”
Invite Them to Try
Give kids the opportunity to practice efficiency in a low-stakes, supported way.
Organize their school supplies for the next day.
Beat the timer while tidying up.
Plan their steps for baking cookies with your supervision.
Build Up Complexity
Gradually introduce more challenging or multi-step tasks to help kids apply and refine what they’ve learned.
Organize a backpack using a list.
Plan a playdate: “What should we do first? What do we need?”
Take over part of a meal, like setting the table or making a salad.
Focus on Improvement, Not Speed
Emphasize working smarter, not faster, by reflecting out loud on how things went and discussing ways to improve.
After a project, ask: “What do you think worked well?” and “What would you change next time?”
Compare how long something took with and without a checklist.
Encourage them to invent their own strategy and try it out.
Give Your Kids Lifelong Problem-Solving Skills
Teaching kids efficiency isn't just about getting things done faster—it's about showing them how to break down tasks and solve problems, step by step.
When we talk through our actions, let them try small parts, and slowly give them more responsibility, we’re setting them up with tools they’ll use for life.
Executive function skills are essential for school and beyond. It’s tempting to do things for them or ask them to wait. But taking the time to involve them—and narrate what you’re doing—pays off with big benefits later on.
For helping kids build up their skills in small, fun ways during everyday activities, check out this free printable:
For help involving kids in daily routines while also developing essential life skills, try this one:
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Sources:
Brushe ME, Haag DG, Melhuish EC, Reilly S, Gregory T. Screen Time and Parent-Child Talk When Children Are Aged 12 to 36 Months. JAMA Pediatr. 2024;178(4):369–375. doi:10.1001/jamapediatrics.2023.6790
Moran L, Reilly K, Brady B, eds. Narrating Childhood with Children and Young People, Springer. 30 October 2021. doi: https://doi.org/10.1007/978-3-030-55647-1
Petrie, A., Mayr, R. Zhao, F. & Montanari, S. (2021). Parent-child interaction during storybook reading: A wordless narrative book versus a book-with-text. Journal of Child Language.
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