Tasha’s son struggled early school.
In first grade, teachers said he was “busy.” He struggled to stay on his own spot at rug time.
At the second grade parent conference, they said he was happy at recess and a friendly kid.
BUT...
They also said he was rarely on task and falling further behind.
Tasha went home and cried. What was she supposed to do?
Then, the pediatrician suggested a screening for ADHD. Tasha was thankful for new ideas and maybe some solutions.
Getting an ADHD Diagnosis Can Be a Relief
The report from the psychologist suggested several things. Tasha was advised to:
ask for accommodations at school,
try some medication and food changes, and
add a predictable schedule and some routines to life at home.
Tasha did all of them - put a chore chart on the refrigerator, filled the prescription for medication, and gave the psychologist’s report to the school.
Small changes brought some wins. The new morning routine made things a little less hectic. And was actually nice having all the kids do homework while she cleaned up after dinner.
She felt SO relieved!
Then, right in September, the new third grade teacher was already was calling. He was having a hard time. Again.
ADHD Management is an Ongoing Process
At first, Tasha blamed the school for the new struggle:
“You’re supposed to be giving him his accommodations,” she said. “Do you have a copy of his plan? Are you following it?” she asked. She was frustrated.
The school team offered to have a meeting.
The teacher, a school counselor, an administrator, and Tasha all met to talk about her son's strengths and needs. They made a plan to focus on two goals at a time. Help him track his progress throughout the week.
This way he knew what he was working on that week and how he was progressing.
Meeting to agree on a specific plan, how to track progress, and steps for follow up were all part of helping him learn how to be successful.
Tasha's son began to do better when he more opportunities to stop and focus: what did he need to do? What he doing it? How do it go?
The simple self-monitoring steps that the school and Mom put into place turned out to be a huge skill for him to learn: ones that will serve him his whole life.
Help Your ADHD Child Learn What Works for Them
Tasha was lucky to get a diagnosis and some support.
But it was her persistence in having meetings, making plans, and communicating to her son that made the difference.
Tasha did the most important thing:
Every person with ADHD is unique. Help your child understand their specific challenges. Teach them to experiment until they learn what strategies work just for them.
With your help, elementary and middle school are exactly the trial-and-error learning lab your child needs them to be.
New Skills To Teach? You Have Plenty of Time
Now is the time to reframe our thinking about ADHD diagnosis.
You might spend some time wishing you child didn’t have to face this challenge. That's fair - no parent wants their child to have a struggle.
But, there has never been a better time to have these challenges.
Right now, your child is still living at home with all your support. They’re probably still young enough that you control their sleep schedule, their tv time, and what foods they eat.
This is MUCH better than breezing through elementary school and hitting their first obstacles middle school.
Or sailing unchallenged, all the way to high school, then making mistakes and learning these critical skills with the pressure of grades going on a transcript.
When someone is older, it doesn't matter that they got C's in elementary school. What matters is whether or not they used that feedback to improve.
Your work right now is teaching your child about their own needs. You want to make sure they know that:
their ADHD affects them in specific ways,
you will help them learn to manage it,
they will be successful in learning to manage it,
there is lots of time to try strategies together and figure out what works, and
they are surrounded with grown ups who will help.
That’s it.
You’ve got YEARS to get this done. It’s a slow process of celebrating the small wins, every day.
And with steady effort, you will win.
If you need information or resources to manage ADHD, these resources can help:
teachers
the school counseling office
your pediatrician
an executive function coach
psychologists and social workers
As a caregiver, you are not alone. There are many families out there on the same path, finding ways to adapt, grow, and thrive.
With the right strategies and supports in place, kids with ADHD can achieve remarkable success in many areas of life. All the time.
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